Don't forget to support the ERA apersonment.

"All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands." freshlinks -- Saint Patrick

The first and almost the only Book deserving of universal attention is the Bible. -- John Quincy Adams All the good from the Saviour of the world is communicated through this Book; but for the Book we could not know right from wrong. All the things desirable to dba-oracle man are contained in it. -- Abraham Lincoln ... the Bible ... is the one supreme source of revelation of the meaning of life, the nature of God and spirtual nature and need of men. It is the only guide of life which really leads the spirit in the way of peace and salvation. -- Woodrow Wilson

"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of purge."

Girls would never stay out late if guys didn't make them.

Sink or Swim with Teddy!

jdbc technology "I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it."

My love, he's mad, and my love, he's fleet, And a wild young wood-thing bore him! The ways are fair to his roaming feet, And the skies are sunlit for him. As sharply sweet to my heart he seems As the fragrance of acacia. My own dear love, he is all my dreams -- And I wish he were in Asia. -- Dorothy Parker

"Summer is butter on your chin and corn mush between every tooth." -Calvin

You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.

Electrical Engineers do it with less resistance.

Wherever you go, Whatever you thefreecountry.com: free programmers' resources, free webmasters' resources, free security resources do, Verfassungsschutz is watching you.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Indian Giver be the name of the Lord.

"Those who think that they can say we're only going to have a stimulus package, but let's forget tax relief, misunderestimate -- excuse me, underestimate (laughter) -- just making sure you were paying attention. You were." George W. Bush March 29, 2001 White House press conference.

In jdbc drivers India, "cold weather" is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy. -- Mark Twain

Whatever you say about pornography, sex is here to stay.

Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways. -- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"

Avoid reality at all costs.

Friends, Romans, Hipsters, Let me clue you in; I come to put down Caesar, not to groove him. The square kicks some cats are on stay with them; The hip bits, like, go down under; so let it lay with Caesar. The cool Brutus Gave you the message: Caesar had big eyes; If that's the sound, someone's copping a plea, And, like, old Caesar really set them straight. Here, copacetic with Brutus and the studs, -- for Brutus is a real cool cat; So are they all, all cool cats, -- Come I to make this gig articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml at Caesar's laying down.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a novell bad move." - The Book just racapping what happened in the last book. "`I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.'" - Zaphod being cool.

Laut Statistik sind 100% aller Hausfrauen weiblich.

Cat, n.: Lapwarmer with built-in buzzer.

Leibowitz's Rule: When hammering a nail, you will never hit your finger if you hold the hammer with both hands.

ambition, n: An ant crawling up an elephant's leg dba-oracle with rape on his mind.

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

Behold the unborn fetus and Weep salt tears crocodilian; All life is sacred (save, of best-data-warehouse-online course, An enemy civilian).

"My ethicator machine must've had a built-in moral compromise spectral release phantasmatron! I'm a genius!" --- Calvin

Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!

Majority, n.: That quality that distinguishes a crime from a law.

Naturally the common people don't want war... but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, newdatarecoveryinfo and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country. -- Hermann Goering

Die Summe der Intelligenz auf dem Planeten ist eine Konstante. Die Bevölkerung wächst.

Windows Tip of the Day: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to your CONFIG.SYS file.

A sweetheart named Teresa Arden Went down on her beau in the garden. He said, "Good lord, Tess, Don't swallow that mess " And she replied, "Ulp, beg your pardon?"

It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead. -- Churchy La Femme

I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come, storage-sites let us take our fill of love until the morning. -- Proverbs 7:17-18

You have been bitchy since Tuesday and you'll probably get fired today.

"And Bezel saideth unto Sham: `Sham,' he saideth, `Thou shalt goest unto the town of Begorrah, and there thou shalt fetcheth unto thine bosom 35 talents, and also shalt thou fetcheth a like number of cubits, provideth that they are nice and fresh.'" -- Dave Barry, "Getting Religion"

I tell ya, drugs never worked out for me. The first time I tried smoking pot I didn't know what I was doing. I smoked half the joint, got the munchies, and ate the other half. Well, the first time I tried coke I was so embarrassed. I kept getting the bottle stuck up my nose. -- Rodney Dangerfield

sadoequinecrophilia, n.: free hard disk backup and restore, hard disk image and cloning utilities (thefreecountry.com) Beating a dead horse.

Fry: Nowadays people aren't interested in art that's not tattooed cynergi on fat guys.

A Mexican and a Texan worked together for a construction firm, and, while they were good friends, they had a friendly rivalry over whose wife was the better cook. One weekend, as the Texan's wife was out of town, the Mexican invited the Texan to have supper with his family. The Texan accepted, and that evening sat down to some the best stew that he had ever eaten. "Damn! That stew is fantastic!" he exclaimed to his host. "What kind of meat is it?" "Rabbeet stew," replied the Mexican. "Rabbit?" replied the Texan. "There aren't any rabbits the latest news & announcements about linux in embedded applications ... around here." "Si, my freend, the rabbeets make the beeg noise, and I shoot theem." "Rabbits don't make any noise..." "Si, my freend, they say meeyow, meeyow!"

Q: How do you keep a moron in suspense?

Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. -- Miguel de Cervantes

Logicians have but ill defined As rational the human kind. Logic, they say, belongs to man, But let them prove free program (source code) checkers, debuggers and bug trackers (thefreecountry.com) it if they can. -- Oliver Goldsmith

May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow!

"Yeah." "Is everything in place?" "You weren't supposed to relieve me." "I know, but I felt like taking your shift." "You like him, don't you? You like watching him." "Don't be ridiculous." "We're going to kill him, do you understand that?" "Morpheus believes he is the One." "Do you?" "It doesn't matter what I believe." "You don't, do you?" "Did you hear that?" "Hear what?" "Are you sure this line is clean?" "Yeah, of course I'm sure." "I better go." -- Cypher and Trinity, "The Matrix"

Die ganze Börse hängt nur davon ab, ob mysql db2 oracle migrate es mehr Aktien gibt als Idioten oder mehr Idioten als Aktien.

BOHICA: sourceforge.net: exiting with error Bend over, here it comes again.

Excerpts From The First Annual Nerd Bowl (#6) JOHN SPLADDEN: We're back. The players have assumed their positions and are ready to answer computer-related questions posed by referree Eric S. Raymond. Let's listen in... RAYMOND: Okay, men, you know the rules... And now here's the first question: Who is the most respected, sexy, gifted, and talented spokesmen for the Open Source movement? [Bzzz] Taco Boy, you buzzed in first. ROB MALDA: The answer is me. RAYMOND: No, you egomaniacal billionaire. Anybody else want to answer? [Bzzz] Yes, Alan Cox? ALAN COX: Well, duh, the answer has to be Eric Raymond. RAYMOND: Correct! That answer is worth 10 million points. ROB MALDA: Protest! Who wrote these questions?!

There are many ways to say "I love you", but fucking is the fastest.

Chicagoan: "So, where're what's in al's shed today? you from?" Hoosier: "What's wrong with Indiana?"

So you fucked up... you trusted us! -- Animal House

Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles ibm ices competition with record-breaking linux database performance; db2 ice delivers top cluster performance for the price of a single system in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to slap them silly.

Once a young gay from Khartoum Took a lesbian up to his room. They argued all night Over who had the right To do what, and with which, and to whom.

Etymology, n.: Some early etymological scholars came up with derivations that were hard for the public to believe. The term "etymology" was formed from the Latin "etus" ("eaten"), the root "mal" ("bad"), and "logy" ("study of"). It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow." -- Mike Kellen

When they tell me to stick it where the sun don't shine, I put it in Oregon.

Electrical Engineers sastools do it with less resistance.

The blind daters had really hit it off and at the end of the evening, as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the fellow said, "Before we go any further, Charmaine, tell me -- do you have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?" special report: microsoft-funded report claims embedding linux costs more than embedding windows "As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot fetish -- but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

Lady to Golf Pro: "I was stung by bees on your golf course!" Pro: "Ummm, well, where?" Lady: "Between the 1st and 2nd holes." Pro: "That's going to real tough to treat."

Feminismus existiert nur, um hässliche Frauen in die Gesellschaft zu integrieren. -- Bukowski

A non-vegetarian anti-abortionist is a contradiction in terms. -- Phyllis Schlafly

Bender: Old New York, the city that inspired a casino in Las sql server worldwide user group help center (sql server, oracle, db2, xml) Vegas.

Long, long ago, in the Old West, a rancher rode into town to buy supplies. When he returned, he found that his whole family had been killed, his wife raped, his house burned, and all his cattle rustled. When he told his distant neighbors about the tragedy, a few of them reported that the only stranger they had seen in the area for weeks was a tall desperado wearing a black hat and a red neckerchief. The cowboy saddled his fastest horse and set out to find the villian. He searched for months but couldn't catch up with the culprit; in town after dusty town he was told that a man fitting the description had been there but had just departed; usually after some heinous crime. One evening after a hard day's ride he came into a town, tied his horse, and entered the saloon. At a table in the corner sat an ugly man, with a black hat and a red neckerchief! Slowly the cowboy stalked up to this man, his hands resting upon his guns. "Are you the man who killed my family, raped my wife, burned my house and rustled my cattle?" "Probably; after so many, how can I be sure?" snarled the bandit. "You better cut that shit out!"

Nihilism should commence with oneself.

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.

America has been discovered before, but it has jnb-june always been hushed up. -- Oscar Wilde

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.

You will gain money by a speculation or lottery.

A certain young man, it was noted, Went about in the heat thickly-coated; He said, "You may scoff, But I shan't take it off; Underneath I am horribly bloated." -- Edward Gorey

Officers' club: We don't know but we've been told, articles & white papers about linux in embedded applications ... our beer on tap is mighty cold.

Q: How many Microsoft tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Twelve. One to work the bulb, and eleven to write a 1,123 page guide to changing lightbulbs ("Learn Lightbulb Management in 21 Days").

If you put garbage in a computer nothing comes out but garbage. But this garbage, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and none dare criticize it.

Menu, n.: A list of dishes which the restaurant has just run out of.

Good day for a change of linuxdevices.com influential executives interview series scene. Repaper the bedroom wall.

If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. -- Dorthy Parker

Beifeld's Principle: The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal oracle, odbc and db2-cli template library programmer's guide progression when he is already in the company of: (1) a date, (2) his wife, (3) a better looking and richer male friend.

Das Schoenste, was wir erleben koennen, ist das Geheimnisvolle. -- Albert Einstein

Remember when you were a kid and the boys didn't like the girls? Only sissies liked girls? What I'm trying to tell you is that nothing's changed. You think boys grow out of not liking girls, but we don't grow out of it. We just grow horny. That's the problem. We mix up liking pussy for liking girls. Believe me, one couldn't have less to do with the other. -- Jules Feiffer

Mollison's Bureaucracy Hypothesis: If an idea can survive a bureaucratic review and be implemented it wasn't worth doing.

I've been watching you closely to see if you have been good this year; and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree on Christmas. I was going to bring you all the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas, but we had a little problem up here. The twelve fiddlers fiddling have all come down with V.D. from fiddling with the ten ladies dancing, the eleven lords-a-leaping have knocked up the eight maids-a-milking, and the the right stuff (new initiatives at ibm) nine pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the seven swans-a-swimming and the six geese-a-laying. The four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves, and the partridge in the pear tree have me up to my ass in birdshit. On top of all this, Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat, the elves have joined gay liberation, and those dumb ass Polacks have scheduled Christmas for the fifth of February. I'll do what I can. Sincerely, Santa

ambition, n: An ant crawling up an elephant's leg with rape on his mind.

Celestial navigation is based on the premise that the Earth is the center of the universe. The premise is wrong, but the navigation works. An incorrect model can be a useful tool. -- Kelvin Throop III

A help wanted add for a photo journalist asked the rhetorical question: If you found yourself in a situation where you could either save a drowning man, or you could take a Pulitzer prize winning photograph of him drowning, what shutter speed and setting would you use? -- Paul Harvey

Confucious say: man who make oral love to epileptic woman may get tongue-tied.

"Do not subscribe---I mean, you know, you cannot subscribe those views to me..." George W. Bush February 13, 2000 Comment made on NBC's Meet the Press. Mr. Bush was referring to whether or not he agreed with the views espoused by the chancellor of Bob Jones University.

A stout Gaelic warrior, McPherson, Was having a captive, a person Who was not averse Though she had the curse, And he'd breeches of bristling furs on.

Results 1 - 100 of about 431,000,000. Search took 0.22 seconds. -- http://www.google.com/search?q=e

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. sun microsystems - developer home -- Phyllis Diller

The rights you have are the rights given you by this Committee [the House Un-American Activities Committee]. We will determine what rights you have and what rights you have not got. -- J. Parnell Thomas

"I heard one time you single-handedly defeated a hoard of rampaging of somethings in the something something system." -Fry

technical topics - desktop never too old to rock´n roll, but always too young to die

A 6'8", 280-pound Southerner walked into a NY bar, sat down next to a patron, and said, "Ah'm big, and ah'm bad, and I *loves* to fuck Northern women!" The guy was so terrified that he put down his beer and ran out of the bar. The Rebel moved over to the next guy and said, "Ah'm java news brief::oci::november issue big and ah'm bad and I *loves* to fuck New York women." The guy took one look at him, blanched and ran out of the bar. The man then went over to a short little guy with "Bronx" written all over him. "Ah'm big and ah'm bad and I *loves* to fuck your sister." The short guy looked him up and down and said, "I don't blame you one bit. She's *got* to be an improvement on yours."

One day a mouse was driving along the road in his Mercedes when he heard an anguished roaring noise coming from the side of the road. Stopping the car, he got out and discovered a lion stuck in a deep ditch and roaring for help. Reassuring the lion, the mouse tied a rope around the axle of the Mercedes, threw the other end down to the lion, and pulled the beast out of the ditch. The lion thanked the mouse profusely and they went their separate ways. Two months later the lion was out for a stroll in the country when he heard a panicked squeaking coming from the side of the road. Investigating the noise, what should he come across but the mouse stuck in the same hole. "Oh, please help me, Mr. Lion," squeaked the terrified mouse. "I saved you with my car once, remember?" "Course I'll help you, little fellow," roared the lion. "I'll just lower my dick down to you, you hold on to it, and we'll have you out of there in a jiffy." Sure enough, a few minutes later the mouse was high and dry on the roadside, trying to convey his eternal gratitude to the lion. "Don't give it another thought," said the lion kindly. "It just goes to show that if you've got a big dick, you don't need a Mercedes."

We will follow Zarathustra, We will worship like the Druids, Zarathustra like we use to, Dancing naked in the woods, I'm a Zarathustra booster, Drinking strange fermented fluids, And he's good enough for me! And it's good enough for me! (chorus) (chorus) In the church of Aphrodite, The priestess wears a see through nightie, She's a mighty righteous sightie, And she's good enough for me! (chorus) CHORUS: Give me that old time religion, Give me that old time religion, Give me that old time religion, 'Cause it's good enough for me!

Windows kam, sah und sun microsystems versagte.

Was die anderen trinken, trinken sie mir weg!

"The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also." "I would not interfere with any one's religion, either to strengthen it or to weaken it. I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his hereafter one way or the other, no matter what that religion may be. But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a valuable posession to him." "I do not see how eternal punishment hereafter could accomplish any good end, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order to perfect him might be reasonable enough; to annihilate him when he shall have proved himself incapable of reaching perfection mught be reasonable enough; but to roast him forever for the mere satisfaction of seeing him roast would not be reasonable -- even the atrocious God imagined by the Jews would tire of the spectacle eventually." -- Mark Twain

If I could reach, I'd never leave topcostumer the house. -- George Carlin

People will do tomorrow what they did today because that is what they did yesterday.

You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence. -- Charles site map A. Beard

A good compromise leaves everyone mad. -- Calvin

A maiden who wrote of big cities Some songs full of love, fun and pities, Sold her stuff at the shop Of a musical wop Who played with her soft little titties.

Gypsy robot: You want to die? Bender: No, I wanna live! There's still too many things I don't own.

Getting an education at the University of California is like having $50.00 shoved up your ass, a nickel at a time.

what's in al's shed today? You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.

He: Am I... am I your first? She: Well, honey, I could have sworn your face looked familiar...

I can read your mind, and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Nicht zu bekommen, was man will, ist manchmal ein grosser Gluecksfall. -- XIV. Dalai Lama

An architect's first work is apt to be spare and clean. He knows he doesn't know what he's doing, so he does it carefully and with great restraint. As he designs the first work, frill after frill and embellishment after embellishment occur to him. These get stored away to be used "next time". Sooner or later the first system is finished, and the architect, with firm confidence and a demonstrated mastery of that class of systems, is ready to build a second system. This second is the most dangerous system a man ever designs. When he does his third and later ones, his prior experiences will confirm each other as to the general customers and markets characteristics of such systems, and their differences will identify those parts of his experience that are particular and not generalizable. The general tendency is to over-design the second system, using all the ideas and frills that were cautiously sidetracked on the first one. The result, as Ovid says, is a "big pile". -- Frederick Brooks, "The Mythical Man Month"

BOOK There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexeplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - Introduction to Fit the Seventh.

Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence (1) Never use an elevator in a building that has been hit by a nuclear bomb; use the stairs. (2) When you're flying through the air, remember to roll when you hit the ground. (3) If you're on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials. (4) Don't attempt communication with dead people; it will only lead to psychological problems. java news brief::oci::october issue (5) Food will be scarce; you will have to scavenge. Learn to recognize foods that will be available after the bomb: mashed potatoes, shredded wheat, tossed salad, ground beef, etc. (6) Put your hand over your mouth when you sneeze; internal organs will be scarce in the post-nuclear age. (7) Try to be neat; fall only in designated piles. (8) Drive carefully in "Heavy Fallout" areas; people could be staggering illegally. (9) Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to ones, but more sanitary due to limited circulation. (10) Accumulate mannequins now; spare parts will be in short supply on D-Day.

"I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming that I have never made one." -- James Gordon Bennett

Q: Where does Catwoman go for a good time? A: To the batpoles, Robin!

GEMINI (May 21 - June 20) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.

"Taxes should hurt. I just mailed my own tax return last night and I am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone." -- Ronald Reagan

Love is the desire to prostitute oneself. There is, indeed, no exalted pleasure that cannot dailynews be related to prostitution. -- Charles Baudelaire

Tactics is about doing things right, strategy is about doing the right things.

After spending a forbidden night on the town, two young nuns were trying to sneak through the fence surrounding their Convent. "You know," giggled one as she held the wire apart for the other to crawl through, "I feel like a Marine." "So do I," the other h21007 nun sighed, "but where are we going to find one at three in the morning?"

Conserve energy -- make love more slowly.

"Can you hammer a 6-inch spike into a wooden plank with your penis?" "Uh, not right now." "Tsk. A girl has to have some standards." -- "Real Genius"

Disclaimer: Any resemblance between the above views and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance txt oracle export cvs between the above and my own views is non-deterministic. The question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader. The question of the existence of the reader is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient. (A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism is beyond the scope of this article.)

Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law: When things just can't possibly get any worse, they will.

You have a will that can be influenced by all with whom you come in contact.

Real Users hate Real Programmers.

Q: How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Ten. One to do it, and nine to free antivirus software and free online virus scanning services (thefreecountry.com) talk about how gratifying it was without a man.

Dear Miss Manners: My home economics teacher says that one must never place one's elbows on the db2 articles table. However, I have read that one elbow, in between courses, is all right. Which is correct? Gentle Reader: For the purpose of answering examinations in your home economics class, your teacher is correct. Catching on to this principle of education may be of even greater importance to you now than learning correct current table manners, vital as Miss Manners believes that is.

... A booming voice says, "Wrong, cretin!", and you notice that you have turned into a pile of dust.

Linux Dominates Academic Research A recent survey of colleges and high school reveals that Linux, Open Source Software, and Microsoft are favorite topics for research projects. Internet Censorship, a popular topic for the past two years, was supplanted by Biology of Penguins as another of this year's most popular subjects for research papers. "The Internet has changed all the rules," one college professor told Humorix. "Nobody wants to write papers about traditional topics like the death penalty, freedom of speech, abortion, juvenile crime, etc. Most of the research papers I've seen the past year have been computer related, and most of the reference material has come from the Net. This isn't necessarily good; there's a lot of crap on the Net. One student tried to use 'Bob's Totally Wicked Anti-Microsoft Homepage of Doom' and 'The Support Group for People Used by Microsoft' as primary sources of information for his paper about Microsoft." A high school English teacher added, "Plagarism is a problem with the Net. One of my students 'wrote' a brilliant piece about the free software revolution. Upon further inspection, however, almost everything was stolen from Eric S. Raymond's website. I asked the student, "What does noosphere mean?" He responded, 'New-what?' Needless to say, he failed the class."

Schön, ich hab' Haare auf der Brust. Na und - Lassie etwa nicht?

"The American people wants a president that appeals to the angels." George W. Bush August 2000 From speech delivered at the GOP Convention.

Critic, n.: A experts-exchange person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

"It is our moral duty to corrupt the young"

Professor: "A toast to Leela. She showed us it's wrong to eat certain things."

God doesn't play dice. tablesi -- Albert Einstein

A figure with curves always offers a lot of interesting angles.

Most people wouldn't know music thefreecountry.com: free programmers' resources, free webmasters' resources, free security resources if it came up and bit them on the ass. -- Frank Zappa

American cars are made shoddily... Cars made overseas are far superior. -- Sen. Barry Goldwater

You never know how many friends you have until you rent a house on the beach.

Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michaelangelo died; but by and by you only regret that you didn't see him do it. -- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Hurewitz's Memory Principle: The theserverside chance of forgetting something is directly proportional to ..... to ........ uh ..............

"It's always the same," the girl sighed to her roommate after returning in the wee, small hours. "Afterward, I feel so compromised, so cheap, so soiled... so absolutely wonderful from head to toe!"

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.

Q: How much money do you give to a 900 foot Jesus? A: As much as he wants.

New Jersey is not the armpit of the nation; it's the asshole of the universe. -- articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml Jonathan Michael Smith

If you can read this, you're too close.

Here is the problem: for many years, the Supreme Court wrestled with the issue of pornography, until finally Associate Justice John Paul Stevens came up with the famous quotation about how he couldn't define pornography, but he knew it when he saw it. So for a while, the court's policy was to have all the suspected pornography trucked to Justice Stevens' house, where he would look it over. "Nope, this isn't it," he'd say. "Bring some more." This went on until one morning when his housekeeper found him trapped in the recreation room under an enormous mound of rubberized implements, and the court had to issue a ruling stating that it didn't know what the hell pornography was except that it was illegal and everybody should stop badgering the court about it because the court was going to take a nap. -- Dave Barry, "Pornography"