"It is incredibly presumptive for somebody who has not yet earned his party's nomination to start speculating about vice presidents." George W. Bush October 22, 1999 Comment made while visiting Keene, New Hampshire.

What a man enjoys most about a woman's clothes are his fantasies of how she would look without them. asktom -- Brendan Francis

Fry: I want to see the edge of the universe. Amy: the learning center store Ooh, that sounds cool. Zoidberg: It's funny. You live in the universe by you never do these things 'til someone comes to visit.

Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. -- Eric Hoffer

Any great truth can -- and eventually will -- be expressed as a cliche -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea. For instance, my grandmother used to say, "The black cat is always the last one off the fence." I have no idea what she meant, but at one time, it was undoubtedly true. -- Solomon Short

Harry is heavily into camping, and every year in the late fall, he makes us all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean famous for its wild horses. I realize that the concept of wild horses probably stirs romantic notions in many of you, but this is because you have never met any wild horses in person. In person, they are like enormous hooved rats. They amble up to your camp site, and their attitude is: "We're wild horses. We're going to eat your food, knock down your tent and poop on your shoes. We're protected by federal law, just like Richard Nixon." -- Dave Barry, "Tenting Grandpa Bob"

We may eventually java news brief::oci::february issue come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition. -- Alex Comfort

"I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to." -- Elvis Presley

Handcrafters: New hands in about an hour Fry: These new hands are great. I'm gonna break them in tonight.

snaps "When Europe and America are divided, history tends to tragedy." George W. Bush June 15, 2001

The difference between women and girls is as much as twenty years, in some states.

"Do you cheat on your wife?" asked the psychiatrist. "Who else?" answered the patient.

"Well, we've come full circle, Lord; I'd like to think there's some higher meaning to all this. It would certainly reflect well on you."

"I also have picked a secretary for Housing and Human Development --- Mel Martinez from the state of Florida." George W. Bush December 20, 2000 Announcing selection of a candidate for secretary of the Department of Housing and _Urban_ Development.

"I don't believe in jnb-june astrology. But then I'm an Aquarius, and Aquarians don't believe in astrology." -- James R. F. Quirk

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

Leela: "Are you real, or am I seeing single?" Alcazar: "Ow. Of course I'm real." Leela: "After all this time, somebody else with one eye who isn't a clumsy carpenter or a kid with a BB gun."

Information Center, n.: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information php tutorial: writing your first php script: a feedback form (a formmail script) (thesitewizard.com) you require.

Nobody suffers the pain of birth or the anguish of loving a child in order for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the substance of their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young and rob the old. -- Lewis Lapham

Hear about... the girl who was so undesirable that she even turned legal information her vibrator off?

Ladybug, ladybug, Look to your stern! Your house is on fire, Your children will burn! So jump ye and sing, for The very first time The four lines above Have been put into rhyme. -- Walt Kelly

Human female: "Next, New New York in crisis. Morbo?" Morbo: "Thanks, human female. Puny Earthlings were shocked today to learn that a ball of garbage will destroy their iseries information center pathetic city of New New York." Human female: "Makes me glad that we live here in Los Angeles." Morbo: "Morbo agrees."

A performing octopus could play the piano, the zither and a piccolo, and his trainer wanted him to add the bagpipe to his accomplishments. With this in mind, a bagpipe was placed in the octopus's room, and the trainer awaited results. Hours passed, but no bagpipe music was heard. Since the talented octopus usually learned quickly, the trainer was disturbed. Opening the door the next morning, he asked the octopus, "Have you learned to play that thing yet?" "Play it!" retorted the octopus. "I've been trying to lay it all night!"

Minnie Mouse is a slow maze learner.

He who findeth sensuous pleasures in the a247 bodies of lush, hot, pink damsels is not righteous, but he can have a lot more fun.

New Linux Companies Hope To Get Rich Quick (#2) Don't throw out that old Red Hat Linux 3.0 CD. A group of entrepreneurs are hording vintage Linux items in the hopes that they will become hot collector's items in the coming decades. The venture, called "Money Grows On Binary Trees", hopes to amass a warehouse full of old Linux distributions, books, stuffed penguins, promotional material, and Linus Torvalds autographs. "Nobody thought pieces of cardstock featuring baseball players would be worth anything..." the founder of Binary Trees said. "That 'Linux For Dummies' book sitting in your trash could be the next Babe Ruth card." The company organized a Linux Collectibles Convention last week in Silicon Valley, drawing in a respectable crowd of 1,500 people and 20 exhibitors. The big attraction was a "Windows For Dummies" book actually signed by Linus Torvalds. "He signed it back at a small Linux conference in '95," the owner explained. "He didn't realize it was a Dummies book because I had placed an O'Reilly cover on it... Somebody at the convention offered me $10,000 for it, but that seemed awfully low. I hope to sell it on eBay next month with a reserve price containing a significant number of zeros."

Confucious say: man who suck nipples make clean breast of things.

How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?

One man's nightmare is sastools another man's wet dream.

Gross, adj.: When your bloody mary still has the string in it.

A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.

A man is as old as the woman he feels. use these listings to locate free embedded linux resources on the web ... -- Groucho Marx

Acid -- better living through chemistry.

One good reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

Real Users never use the Help key.

Microsoft should switch to the vacuum articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml cleaner business where people actually want products that suck. -- Bruno Bratti

Basic is a high level languish. APL is a high level anguish.

No is no negative in bgs-soft a woman's mouth. -- Sidney

Pig, n.: An animal (Porcus omnivorous) closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, redhat which, however, is inferior in scope, for it balks at pig. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

Adultery: Putting yourself in someone else's position.

I was in accord with the system so long as it permitted me to function effectively. -- Albert Speer

I GUESS I KINDA LOST CONTROL because in the middle of the play I ran up and lit the evil puppet villain on fire. No, I didn't. Just kidding. I just said that to illustrate one of the human emotions which is freaking out. Another emotion is greed, as when you kill someone for money or something like that. Another emotion is generosity, as when you pay someone double what he paid for his stupid puppet. -- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.

QOTD: "To petefinnigan hell with patience, I'm gonna kill me something!"

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Ignorance is the Mother of Devotion. -- Robert Burton

A woman's a woman until the day she dies, but a man's only a man as long as he can. -- Moms Mabley

Are you ever going to do the dishes? Or will you change your major to biology?

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for too long jdbc technology as they tend to take root and become trees.

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they point upward from the floor -- especially in the dark.

A cautious young fellow named Tunney Had a whang that was worth any money. When eased in half-way, The girl's sigh made him say, "Why the sigh?" "For the rest of it, honey."

Leela: "Well, it's a type M planet, so it should at least have Roddenberries."

Marijuana is nature's way of saying, "Hi!".

Mary had a little lamb, The lamb turned out to be a ram, Now Mary has content manager ondemand backup, recovery, and high availability case study #2: international financial services company a little lamb.

... Let me tell you who the actual "front-runners" are. On one side, you have George Bush, who is currently going through a sort of fraternity hazing wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval of the Republican Right. articles, links - sql server, oracle, db2, xml For example, they had him make a speech oozing praise all over William Loeb, deceased publisher of the Manchester (N.H.) Union Leader and Slime Journalist. Loeb had dumped viciously all over George in the 1980 New Hampshire primary. But when the Right held a big tribute for Loeb, George came back to the fold, like a man with a bungee cord wrapped around his neck. -- Dave Barry, "The Twinkie and the Squid"

The hungover couple dawdled over a midafternoon breakfast, after a particularly wild all-night party held in their fashionable apartment. "Dearest, this is rather embarrassing," said the husband, "but was it you I made love to in the library last night?" His wife looked at him reflectively and then asked, "About what time?"

Christ: A man who was born linuxdevices.com - the embedded linux portal: polls at least 5,000 years ahead of his time.

Unitarians pray "To whom it may concern".

If you don't count some of Jehovah's injunctions, there are no humorists in the Bible. java upgrade program -- Mordecai Richler

Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.

Vielleicht verdirbt Geld wirklich den Charakter. Auf keinen Fall aber macht Mangel an Geld ihn besser. -- John Steinbeck, am. Schriftsteller

"I don't have to accept their tenants. I was trying to convince those college students to accept cynergi my tenants. And I reject any labeling me because I happened to go to the university." George W. Bush February 23, 2000 Referring to his visit to Bob Jones University.

all articles "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do." -- Joe Walsh

MS and Y2K: Windows 95, 98, ... and back again to 01 -- Laurent Szyster

A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling by Mark Twain For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g/j" anomali wonse and for all. Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli. Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) Your efforts to help a little old lady cross a street will backfire when you learn that she was waiting for a bus. Subdue impulse you have to push her out into traffic.

A baby is an alimentary canal with a loud voice at one end and no responsibility at the other.

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream." George fix: a call to the getliteralinfo function may return an incorrect error message in the microsoft host integration server 2000 db2 driver W. Bush October 18, 2000 During visit to La Crosse, Wisconsin.

"The American people wants a president that appeals to the angels." George W. Bush August 2000 From speech delivered at the GOP Convention.

table xml oracle unload cvs txt Im Wald da stehen Bäume und dazwischen Zwischenräume

Ass: The masculine of "lass".

"Follow me around. I don't care. I'm serious. If anybody wants to put a tail on me, go ahead. They'd be very bored." -- Gary Hart, announcing his java technology and web services presidential candidacy, commenting on rumors of womanizing.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth. -- Nero Wolfe

Confucious say: woman should not marry basketball players -- they dribble before they shoot.

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat privacy policy is good for dandruff. -- Peter de Vries

"In any world menu, Canada must be considered the vichyssoise of nations -- it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir." -- Stuart Keate

Don't accept rides from strange men -- and remember that all men are strange as hell. -- Robin Morgan, "Sisterhood Is Powerful"

Every Horse has an Infinite Number of Legs (proof by intimidation): Horses have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs, and in front they have fore-legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a horse. But the only number that is both even and odd is infinity. Therefore, horses have an infinite number of legs. Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere, there is a horse that has a finite number of legs. But that is a horse of another color, and by the [above] lemma ["All horses are the same color"], that does not exist.

HE: Let's end it all, bequeathin' our brains freshlinks to science. SHE: What?!? Science got enough trouble with their ___OWN brains. -- Walt Kelley

Humorix Holiday Gift Idea #5 AbsoluteZero(tm) Cryogenic Refrigerator $29,999.95 for welcome to eljonline (embedded linux journal online) economy model at Cryo-Me-A-River, Inc. The pundits have been hyping new technology allowing your home appliances to have Internet access. Most people aren't too keen with the thought of their refrigerator sharing an IP address with their can opener. But with the new AbsoluteZero(tm) Refrigerator, that might change. This is not a fridge for your food -- it's a fridge for your overclocked, overheating CPU. You stick your computer inside, bolt the door shut, turn the temperature down to 5 degrees Kelvin, and you've got the perfect environment for accelerating your CPU to 1 Terahertz or more. This cryogenic cooling system may not actually reach absolute zero, but it comes mighty close. Unfortunately, the AbsoluteZero(tm) is the size of a small house, consumes a constant stream of liquid nitrogen, and requires it's own nuclear reactor (not included). But that's a small price to pay for the ability to play Quake 3 at 100,000 frames per second.

Bank tablesi error in your favor. Collect $200.

Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important. -- Eugene McCarthy

I have a funny daddy Who goes in and out with me And everything that baby does Daddy's sure to see, And everything that baby says, My daddy's sure to tell. You _m_u_s_t have read my daddy's verse. I hope he fries in Hell. -- Ogden Nash

A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce. -- Don Quinn

10 Reasons Why a Beer is Better Than a Woman: (1) A beer won't make you go to church. (2) A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman. (3) A beer doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the guys spit. (4) A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of other beers on the side. (5) A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman" instead of "doberperson". (6) A beer won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of lesbian folk music on yer fave radio station. (7) A beer understands why The Three Stooges are funny. (8) A beer won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the toilet seat up. (9) A beer doesn't think that a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" is an enormous can of vegetable juice. (10) A beer won't smoke in your car.

Drugs may be access property editor - set allowbypasskey - for ms access databases the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!

Confucious say: woman who search > advanced search spring on inner-spring this spring, have off-spring next spring.

You know very well that whether you are on page one or page thirty depends on whether [the press] fear you. It is just as simple as that. -- Richard Nixon

The superpowers often behave like two heavily armed blind men feeling their way around a room, each believing himself in mortal peril from the other, whom he assumes to have perfect vision. Each tends to ascribe to the other side a consistency, forsight and coherence that its own experience belies. Of course, even two blind men can do enormous damage to each other, not to speak of the room. -- Henry Kissinger

Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it. -- Andrew Young

Dig it, first they killed those pigs, then they ate dinner in the same room with them, then they even shoved a fork in a victim's stomach. Wild! -- Bernadine Dohrn, on cdtext the Manson killings

Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the job is described in the formal spec. Working late would feel like using an undocumented external procedure.

Men have many faults, exportfile Women only two: Everything they say, And everything they do!

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow related technologies from, but not well enough to lend to. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

"Before we get married," said the young woman to her fiancee, "I want to confess some affairs installing and configuring db2 server that I've had in the past." "But you told me all about those a few weeks ago," her young man replied. "Yes, darling," she explained, "but that was a few weeks ago."

"We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor, just like you like to be liked yourself." George W. Bush January 14, 2000 Quoted in the Financial Times.

A young maiden from France was no prude, She decided to dive in the nude, But her buddy, behind, Went out of his mind, When he noticed where she was tatooed.

Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they point upward from the floor -- especially in the dark.

Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me. I'm not half the man I used to be. Oh, how did I get leprosy? Syphillis, it all started with a simple kiss. Now it even hurts to take a piss. Oh why did I get syphillis? Why'd she have VD? I don't know, she wouldn't say. I did something wrong, now I long for yesterday .... -- "Leprosy," to the tune of "Yesterday"

In a five year period we can get one superb programming language. Only sql server worldwide user's group - privacy policy we can't control when the five year period will begin.

Want to make $$$$ really quick? It's easy: 1. Hold down the Shift key. 2. Press '4' four times.

Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Starkle, db2 oracle migrate mssql starkle, little twink, Who the hell you are I think I'm not as drunk as thinkle peep I'm just a little slort of sheep. Tee martoonis make a guy, Feel so woozy, I don't know why. So mass the pixer and kill my fup I've all day sober to sunday up.

Good news from afar can bring customers and markets you a welcome visitor.

McQuillan was on the stand. The case involved a railroad and several of the passengers who were injured. "You say," thundered the counsel for the railroad, "that you saw the two trains crash head on while doing sixty miles an hour. What did you think when you saw this happen ?" I thought," replied the Irishman, "this is one *helluva* way to run a railroad."

Well, I'd left home just a week before, And I'd never ever kissed a woman before, But Lola smiled and took me by the hand, And said 'Little boy, gonna make you a man!' Well, I'm not the world's most masculine man, But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man and so's Lola. La, la, la, la-Lola... la, la, la, la-Lola... Lola. -- The Kinks

"First, I'm going to buy you a few drinks and get you a little tight," said the guy aggressively. "Oh, no, you're not," said the girl. "Then I'll take you to dinner at the most exclusive restaurant in town." "Oh, no, you won't." "Then I'll take you to my apartment and mix up a pitcher of daiquiris." "Oh, no, you won't." "Then I'm going to make violent, mad, passionate love to you." "Oh, no, you're not." "And I'm not going to take any precautions either!" said the guy. "Oh, yes, you are!!" said the girl.

God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends.

Leela: reading a list of metadata collections using oledb Your face can take a lot of punishment. That's good to know. Fry: There's a lot about my face you don't know.

"Wow, so this is a real TV station, huh." -Fry "Well, it's a Fox affiliate." -TV worker guy "What are you showing right now?" -Fry "'Single Female Lawyer.' It's the season finale. Wanna watch?" -TV worker guy "I dunno. That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre, World's Blankiest Blank." -Fry "She is wearing the world's shortiest skirt." -TV worker guy "I'm in." -Fry

Bipolar, adj.: Refers to someone who has homes in Nome, Alaska, and Buffalo, New York

Q: How many Microsoft tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Twelve. One to work the bulb, and eleven to products write a 1,123 page guide to changing lightbulbs ("Learn Lightbulb Management in 21 Days").

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that eglobal I am right.

"Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern technology. Neither do they throw parties for the urban proletariat."

A cannibal warrior is experiencing severe gastric distress, so he goes to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint. The VWD examines him and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross examine him about his recent diet. "Well, I ate a missionary yesterday. Do you think that could be the problem?" The VWD says "Hmmmm." (All doctors say "Hmmmm.") "That could be. Tell me a bit about this missionary." "Well, he was tall for a white man, wearing a brown robe. He was walking down the trail, not watching for danger, so I speared him, dragged him home, cleaned him, boiled him and ate him." "Ah-hah!" (All doctors say "Ah-hah!") There's your problem," smiles the VWD. You boiled him, but he was a friar!"

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking. -- Lyndon Baines Johnson

Be prepared... that's the Boy Scout's solemn creed. Be prepared... to be clean in word and deed. Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice, Unless you get a good percentage of her price. -- Tom Lehrer

A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble. dbtools software - welcome to dbtools software -- Mahatma Ghandi

A space shuttle pilot named Ventry, Made love to a lovely girl sentry. She started to pout, Because it fell out, But the mission was saved by re-entry.

Inspite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe is composed of only two basic substances: magic and bullshit.

Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops. -- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

Mary had a little sheep, news > post > entry form And with the sheep she went to sleep, The sheep turned out to be a ram, And Mary had a little lamb.

A desperate spinster from Clare Once knelt in the moonlight all bare, And prayed to terms of service her God For a romp on the sod-- 'Twas a passerby answered her prayer.

"It's all so painfully empty and lonesome... I don't think I can stand any more of it... the whole dreadful way we are born, die, and are never missed. cynergi The fact there is *nobody*... nobody really... We come out of a yawning tomb of flesh and sink back finally into another tomb. What is the point of it all? Who thought up this sickening circle of flesh and blood? We come into the world bleeding and cut and our bones half-crushed only to emerge and suffer more torment, multilation, and then at the last lie down in some hole in the ground forever. Who could have thought it up, I wonder?" -- James Purdy

Hug O' War I will not play at tug o' war. I'd rather play at hug o' war, Where everyone hugs Instead of tugs, Where everyone giggles And rolls on the rug, Where everyone kisses, And everyone grins, And everyone cuddles, And everyone wins. -- Shel Silverstein

Real computer scientists don't comment their code. The identifiers are so long they can't afford the disk space.

My mothers are wholly ignorant of the almost universal prevalence of secret vice, or self-abuse, among the young. Why hesitate to say firmly and without quibble that personal abuse lies at the root of much of the feebleness, paleness, nervousness, and good-for-nothingness of the entire community? -- Dr. J.H. Kellogg, "The Ladies Guide", Modern Medicine Publishing Company, 1895. Dr. Kellogg helped invent corn flakes and peanut butter. In addition to denouncing masturbation, he believed that smoking caused cancer and that certain ailments could be cured by rolling a cannonball on the stomach.

A mortician who practised claimsprospector in Fife Made love to the corpse of his wife. "How could I know, Judge? She was cold, did not budge-- Just the same as she'd acted in life."

Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote. -- Grover Cleveland, 1905

Be prepared... that's the Boy Scout's solemn creed. Be prepared... to be clean in word and deed. Don't solicit for your sister, that's not nice, Unless you get a good percentage of her price ... -- Tom Lehrer

If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except where void or prohibited special report: microsoft-funded report claims embedding linux costs more than embedding windows by law. -- Roy Santoro

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass. -- Frank Zappa

menage a trois, n.: Using both hands to masturbate.

One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious. -- Chateaubriand (1768-1848)

A main memory object-relational database management system lover without indiscretion is no lover at all. -- Thomas Hardy

Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit. -- W. Somerset Maugham

Fog Lamps, n.: Excessively (often obnoxiously) bright lamps mounted on the fronts of automobiles; used on dry, clear nights to indicate that the driver's brain is in a fog. See also "Idiot Lights".

"Not only is God dead, but just try to find a plumber on weekends." -- Woody Allen

Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her husband and screamed, "Erlenmeyer! My joules! Someone has stolen my joules!" "Now, now, my dear," replied her husband, "keep your balance and reflux a moment. Perhaps they're mislead." "No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence. "I remember putting them in my burette ... We must call a copper." Erlenmeyer did so, and the flatfoot who turned up, one Sherlock Ohms, said the outrage looked like the work of an arch-criminal by the name of Lawrence Ium. "We must be careful -- he's a free radical, ultraviolet, and dangerous. His girlfriend is a chlorine at the Palladium. Maybe I can catch him there." With that, he jumped on his carbon cycle in an activated state and sped off along the reaction pathway ... -- Daniel B. Murphy, "Precipitations"

FORTUNE TESTS THE GREAT MANAGERS: #5 You have just returned from a trip to Green Bay, Wisconsin in January and tell your boss that nobody but ladies of the evening and football players live there. He mentions that his wife is from Green Bay. You: (a) Pretend you are suffering from amnesia and don't remember your name. (b) Ask what position she played. (c) Ask if she is still working the streets. jnb-aug-phx (d) Pull lacy underwear from your raincoat pocket and ask if he recognizes the label.

Fry: "Make up some feelings and tell her you have them. Yes?" Zoidberg: "Is the desire to mate a feeling?"

A habit obscene and bizarre, Has taken a-hold of papa. He brings home young camels And other odd mammals, And gives them a go at mama.

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